The Queen of Mirkwood
by AmyGoddess
Summary: What happens on an official visit by the dwarves to the current monarch of Mirkwood. (Updates will be slow. Having a lot of ideas, can't decide on what to follow, current chapters to be updated. I wanted this to be kind of smutty, but it seems I can't write smut about Kili and Tauriel.)
1. State Visit

The Queen of Mirkwood

Author's note:

Some changes from the Hobbit book and DOS:

Kili does not get hit with an Orc arrow at any time prior to BoFA

Thorin, Kili, and Fili survive BoFA, but not without some scratches

Dwarves and elves like each other

Dwarves were well hosted in Mirkwood on their way to Erebor

* * *

Chapter 1

"My lord, there is a message from Her Royal Highness the Queen of Mirkwood." A page entered the king's hall, carrying a scroll.

"What is the message?" King Thorin asked.

"That she is agreeable to your visit with the princes and King Bain next month. She is prepared to host you for at least a fortnight, if not longer."

"Good, good." The king nodded, and drank from a golden goblet sitting on a table next to the throne. "It's long past time for the princes to get more exposure to diplomacy and negotiations with other realms. It is not enough that they lead and direct the rebuilding of this kingdom. We must deal with the wider world, after all."

"My lord, the Queen also sent a package to Prince Kili." He left the room, and came back in carrying a long wooden crate.

Thorin's brow creased in puzzlement. "Set that on the table, please. I wonder what it could be?" He walked over to the wooden box, and looked at it closely. It was rectangular, not very tall, but wide. He wanted to open it, but held his curiousity in check for the present.

"Is there anything more, my lord?"

"Oh. Yes. Please send the princes here, right away," Thorin replied absently.

"Yes, sir." The page bowed and left the room.

* * *

Thorin sat and waited for his nephews to arrive. He realized suddenly that today one year since the Battle of Five Armies had started on the very doorstep of Erebor. One year since Orcs and goblins had slain Bombur and Dwalin and Nori. Bifur had never been found anywhere after the battle. The rest of the company, full of injury and sorrow, had buried their valorous dead with all honor. Then the survivors had begun the monumental task of healing their grief and making the mountain a home for their people.

A difficult few months had passed. Some injuries could not be cured, in spite of all that the healers and Gandalf could do. Ori succumbed to fevers and poisoning two months after the battle. Bofur's leg below the right knee had been injured in such a way that it could not heal. The poisoned leg had needed to be amputated. Three young children, exploring the kingdom, had stumbled down steps in need of repair and had fallen to their deaths.

In spite of tragedy, his people were well and happy. The rebuilding was still going on, but it was time now to develop strong alliances with the neighboring kingdoms. The dwarves were already doing that with King Bard of Dale, by helping him rebuild his city. Bard was deeply grateful to them, for their gold, and their expertise in building. Thorin knew Erebor would have a friend for life in the people of Dale.

The elven queen was a bit different story. Once the great battle was over, the great Queen of Mirkwood had taken her people and retreated to her forest kingdom. They too had suffered great hurt and injury, the queen herself needing healing from Morgul arrows in her shoulder.

Thorin got up to pace around the long table in his private hall, as he tended to do when thinking. He had known the queen for many years, before Smaug had come to Erebor and destroyed it. She had been young, compared to the age of other elves, and was so fair to look upon. On a few occasions, she came with her ambassadors to Erebor for state dinners and events, to speak with King Thror about trade. She had seemed rather mysterious to him at the time, intelligent and powerful, watchful of her interests. Using her charm to gain much and give the impression that she, too, was giving up something. As a green princeling, untried in the ways of diplomacy, he had been glad he did not have to negotiate with her.

He recalled being furious at her refusal to help the dwarves take back the mountain when Smaug had first attacked. "I cannot risk the lives of my people against a dragon," she'd said to a bloody and burned King Thror, her voice quiet yet brisk. "We will help you and heal your people. You may stay in Mirkwood as long as you wish, we will work out the arrangements. But I will not send my people to their deaths for gold."

In time, Thorin had come to see the wisdom of her words. The swords and arrows of the elves could not have slain that mighty armor, they would all have been destroyed. It had been with only the highest and best luck that the beast had been slaughtered. One shot. One Black Arrow.

In the past year, Thorin had seen her a few times, when out hunting in the forests, as she had graciously given his people leave to hunt in her lands. She was cool and polite, still fair with the gifts of the elves.

She did correspond with him, via messenger. She also corresponded, at times, with Kili. Thorin did not exercise his right as king to read Kili's letters, but he was curious as to what they discussed. Archery was an interest between them. The Queen herself was an excellent shot, with arrow as well as daggers. She had fought in the battle and acquitted herself bravely.

He continued his pacing around the long wooden table. Thorin sometimes wondered if there was something else, from when they all had met the Queen when the company had traveled through Mirkwood. He recalled seeing Kili and the queen talking alone together. One evening, the night before the dwarven company left for Laketown, he had seen them together on a balcony, looking up at the night sky. There had been other times, since the battle, where they had all seen her. Odd looks between the two of them, something of regret and longing. He'd gotten the impression Kili was smitten with the beautiful queen. Thorin could hardly blame him for that. Her charm was legendary. And her beauty was stunning. But when he'd asked, his nephew had simply said, "She's lovely to look at, isn't she?" He had never been able to get any more details out of Kili. And neither had Fili.

It would not do to have a lusty, reckless young dwarf prince chasing after a powerful elven queen. "The boy bears watching," he said to himself.


	2. The Lusty, Reckless Young Dwarf Prince

If Kili had known his uncle's current thoughts about him, he might have agreed. The past could not be denied. Even with his older brother Fili looking out for him, he had gotten in scrapes of all kinds for years too numerous to count. Brawling with men, elves, and other dwaves. Exploits involving stealing and then drinking entire casks of ale and wine with other equally foolish friends. Amorous escapades with women of various races. He had never loved any of them, but he never hurt them. In the way of dwarves, he always left them well satisfied, if one could judge by their lusty cries of pleasure and tears at his departure.

In the deep parts of the kingdom, Kili worked in the forge melting gold, the hard work and heat a balm to a troubled heart. Sweat drenched his rough linen shirt. He could not, did not want to remember, but the memories crept in.

This week was one year since the war. Brawling and skirmishes were no preparation for what he had seen those few days. The Battle of Five Armies had changed him forever, taught him lessons he would never forget. He recalled the fear coursing through him as he looked desperately for Fili and Thorin, fighting stinking Orcs to get to them. Rage and grief as he'd never known, seeing friends falling in front of him, the sight leaving their eyes as they succumbed to the arrows and swords of the enemy. He himself had been seriously injured, but had been healed and survived.

When it was all over, the carnage was so much to bear. So many dead. So much blood. He'd thought he might always smell it in his dreams. How he had found the strength to help his people after the battle, he did not know. Thorin and Fili had been with him to bear the burdens. Even so, there had been times when he felt such despair, he wished he had not survived. What would have become of him had his brother and uncle died?

He could still smile, and laugh, drink, and flirt with the ladies. But his escapades were over. A good time was no longer enough for him. Just one time, just one night, did not satisfy him any longer. There was so much more inside him to give now, to whom he wished.

The gold melted into a thick and shining liquid. Hot as death and smoking, he poured it carefully into the mold he wanted. Kili knew exactly what he wanted to do with this gold.

A better lesson he had learned was to fight for who you were and what you wanted. Once you knew what was truly important to you, the strength to fight was easily found. In the past year, Kili had realized what he wanted in his life. That certainty gave him power and purpose in all that he did. He had no other focus now, except to take the actions that would get him what he wanted.

* * *

"Uncle, you sent for me?" Kili entered the hall. He was dressed, not in princely attire, but in rough shirts and trousers and boots. Fili, who had arrived earlier, was similarly attired. Thorin sighed a little, but could not fault either of them. They had been working with the forges. And both of them had been very small when Smaug had driven them off from Erebor. His nephews had not been raised to dress or think or act as future kings. They did not like the idea of politics, of prescribed roles and formalities. But they knew they would have to learn and adjust.

"Yes, sit. We've heard from the Queen that our visit is set for next month. In three weeks we leave for Mirkwood."

"How long will we stay?" Kili asked.

"Her message said she is prepared to host us for at least a fortnight. We will be taking Balin, and leave Gloin and Dori in charge here. King Bard will ride with us."

"What is the agenda?" Fili asked.

"I do not know all of it, but probably easing restrictions on borders between our own kingdoms. Setting up a coordinated defense coalition between the three of us. Training programs on weaponry, you know she is an excellent archer and thinks more dwarves should learn to shoot."

Fili jabbed his brother in the ribs. "Maybe you can shoot with her this time, brother."

"Here, Kili." Thorin gestured to the box. "She sent this to you. It arrived today with her message to me." He watched his nephew's face closely for a reaction.

Kili shrugged and looked puzzled. "I have no idea what this is." He flipped open the lid to look inside. And gaped in astonishment.

Inside was a Mirkwood bow, of the kind the Queen's archers used. There was a quiver full of elven arrows, with a strap harness to attach to the body. He removed them from the box to examine them closely.

"That is quite a gift!" Thorin exclaimed. He suddenly recalled one of the dinners in Mirkwood on the quest. "Didn't the Queen say last year she was having a bow made for you?"

"Yes, I think she did," Kili replied absently, engrossed in some carvings on the bow.

Fili came closer to look. "There's something in here, a letter." He opened it up and began to read.

"Dear Prince Kili, I send you our best weaponry, so as to gain a new experience. This is the same type of bow used by the most advanced archers in my kingdom. I expect you to practice now, and then to assess your performance during your visit. I am confident you will be up to the task. Cordially, Her Royal Highness Queen Tauriel of Mirkwood." Fili looked up from the letter, eyes wide. "Wow. The top elf archers use these. Doesn't expect much from you, does she, little brother?"

Kili snatched the letter away from Fili, and put it in his pocket. "Uncle, I am going to take these to my suite now." He picked up the box and left the room.

Thorin watched him go, deep in thought. Had Kili blushed a little? The grabbing of the letter was rather rough. And its contents . . . if one was thinking that way, the words held a sexual meaning. Assessing your performance. Up to the task. If that really was what was going on between the Queen and his nephew, he was a little surprised. He hadn't imagined her as having tastes that ran to dwarves. Not that he would say nay to her or to Kili. But it was an odd idea. He had never known an elf and a dwarf to be interested in each other that way.

One thing he would say nay to was the Queen using Kili, for whatever purpose. If his nephew was unwilling, did not want to consent for the right reasons, Thorin could not approve. Not even if it would benefit Erebor.

Ah, but if Kili truly wanted her, loved her, what then? Perhaps some arrangement could be achieved? Not marriage, of course. No matter how friendly Mirkwood and Erebor became, he could not see that kind of agreement being accepted by his subjects, or hers. And for heirs to the throne, marriage was typically not for love. It was a political and economic alliance, first of all. The parties might love each other, but to Thorin's knowledge, that was a rare occurence. And he doubted the people of Mirkwood, or of Erebor, would like the idea of half-elf, half dwarf princes and princesses.

He would have to think on it. Maybe there was something in ancient dwarvish history that set a precedent for official lovers between kingdoms. He could not remember ever reading such a thing, but Thorin did not know all there was about dwarven lore. Perhaps Balin, the most wise and discreet of counselors, could suggest something. Thorin smirked a little to himself, imagining the look on his old friend's face when he asked him about a sexual arrangement between dwarves and elves.

* * *

Kili shut the door to his suite of rooms and locked it. He went into the bedroom and shut that door. Setting the gifts on the bed, he took out the queen's letter to read it for himself. Yes, Fili had read it word for word. There was no post script, no other comments but the seemingly innocent words she had written. Was he reading too much into the message? Possibly. He hoped not.

He dumped all the arrows out on the bed to search the quiver. A small black velvet bag fell out with them. He reached inside to pull out a rune stone and another message.

This was similar to the stone his mother gave him to recall his promise when he'd set out with his uncle to take back the mountain. But it had different carvings on it. Elven runes. Kili traced the carvings gently with his fingers. The stone was an oval shape, a deep red color. He thought it might be carnelian.

Kili could not yet read Elvish. He could call Balin in, who could. But then Balin would know what it said. No, he could not call Balin. There might be a book in the palace library that could help him translate it. Or, it would come with him to Mirkwood and be read there by the person who had sent it. Learning what it said would have to wait, for the moment.

Kili opened the message. He felt heat grow in his face as he scanned it.

"I too deeply desire new experiences."

No, he was not reading too much into the other message. He sighed a little in disappointment. It was just as laced with innuendo as he had originally thought.

The situation was actually growing tiresome. Of course he wanted to bed her. He'd wanted that since the first day he'd met the queen. But many things had happened since that day, and he was not the same person anymore. A few times, he'd tried to tell her in letters what he was feeling. But she never really responded to those words, instead accepting from him just the basest of the things he wanted to give her. Part of his despair in the past year was her letters, sometimes shallow and superficial, seeming to ignore his heart. He wondered sometimes how she could do that, considering what had happened between them in her tent on the battlefield. Was she afraid to love? Or did she really not care about him, and her words and actions all those months ago were some kind of joke? If so, she was quite the actress. But his heart refused to believe it.

Regardless, clearly they were not in agreement on what one wanted to give and what the other would accept. He was glad they were going to Mirkwood soon, they would be able to talk about this face to face. The Queen was trying to get only what she wanted from him, but he would have none of it. She had to take it all, every single thing, or have nothing. He would not, could not compromise himself.

Kili fell back onto the bed, seeing her face in his mind. He couldn't help it, feeling a stirring in his loins. She was lusty and reckless, like he was. He had no doubt whatsoever that they would be good in bed. Very, very good. Kili closed his eyes and gave in to his body's reaction. He reached down to stroke himself, thinking of the very first time he'd ever seen the Queen of Mirkwood.


	3. First Night In Mirkwood

_Thirteen months ago_

_ "Is the dinner to your liking? Would you like some more wine?" The Queen of Mirkwood asked Kili. She was a beautiful and gracious hostess, walking around the long table seeing to the needs of her thirteen dwarven guests. And one hobbit. _

_ "The dinner is different, but good, my lady. And yes, I would like some more wine. It is excellent," Kili said. _

_ The Queen gestured to a serving maid standing at the wall to refill his goblet._

_ "I think I will have a glass myself," she said, sitting down next to him in the chair Bofur had recently vacated. _

_ A few of the company were still in the room, at the end of the table. Kili could tell from the sounds of their laughter that they had sampled much of the fine red wine. Most of them had eaten and gone. The Queen's guards had taken them on a tour of the vast palace. One could get lost in its halls and many rooms without a guide._

_ Secretly, Kili was glad to be one of the last at the table. He was able to study the mysterious elven queen all he liked now, without anyone to notice and tease him. The few at the end of the table, laughing and snorting, would be far too drunk to remember anything tomorrow. _

_ He had never seen an elf with red hair, until the company had been presented before her earlier in the day. In her green satin gown, her flame colored hair streaming down around her, she had been a wonder to his eyes. Never had he seen anything to compare with her glowing creamy skin, not even the brightest diamonds in the mine. _

_ Kili had not been able to stop staring at her. He'd hoped no one in his company noticed, or he would hear about it forever. In his dirty clothes, covered in spiderwebs, he'd felt so embarrassed, unworthy to be in the presence of someone so magnificent. But she was kind as well, and ordered baths to be sent up for all of them, clean clothes, and rest. Then later on they could join her and her court for dinner._

_ Of course he had looked at her breasts. He wasn't dead, after all. Truthfully, he had oogled them. Her breasts had been so appealingly displayed, the boning of the satin dress framing them, the cut of the bodice just low enough to tease the eye of a reckless dwarf prince. She wore a silver chain with a white gem that nestled into the beautiful roundness. He had longed to trace a finger, or, preferably, his tongue, where the jewel lay. _

_ And she'd caught him. Locking eyes with her as his glance moved from her chest to her face, she'd looked at him intently for a moment. Then she had given him a knowing smile before she turned her attention back to one of her counselors. Kili felt heat rush through him, arousal and embarrassment in equal measure. Who else had noticed that look? Fili? Uncle Thorin? He'd had to think about Orcs for a few moments before his hardness disappeared and his trousers lay flat._

_ Tonight, the Queen had been looking at him from time to time, sometimes looking a little too long. During the dinner, and before, when the company had been formally presented to her, she was eyeing him. _

_"My nephew, Prince Kili," Thorin had said, gesturing to him, standing next to Fili. In his clean clothes, freshly washed, hair smelling now of elven herbs and not sweat and spiders, Kili had felt much better and more confident. He had bowed low to the Queen, and she had nodded and given him a small curtsey, as she had done to Fili. She greeted all the other dwarves in a similar fashion. But her look for Kili was the same as the morning. Knowing. Waiting. Almost like a large cat waiting to pounce on its prey. _

_No woman had ever looked at him quite that way before. It excited him and made him uneasy at the same time. He didn't know her at all, or have any idea what she might do. She was a powerful queen, and their hostess, not a maid at the tavern. She could do almost anything she wanted. _

_She had slowly circled the table, chatting with each dwarf, making sure they were comfortable. Kili wondered if anyone else had noticed her looks to him. His uncle? No, he had been engrossed with one of the elven counselors and deep into the sweet red wine. Fili was sitting with Balin and Ori. And then his brother, uncle, and others had left the table, part of the party getting a tour of the palace. Kili was on his own._

_ Now, as she sat next to him, sipping her wine, she was looking at him again. Kili wondered what she was thinking. He turned to her and looked into her eyes. "You have been studying me quite intently all evening, my lady. Do you like what you see?" he asked quietly, giving her a little smirk. _

_ Queen Tauriel let out a throaty laugh. "I could ask you the same question, sir. If you were a member of my court, I might choose to punish you for your impertinence earlier today." She lowered her voice. "I know what interests you, Master Kili."_

_ "Do you, my lady? What do you think it is?"_

_ She grasped the silver chain around her throat. The movement caused the white jewel to bob back and forth between her breasts. "My gems, of course. Dwarves love fine and beautiful things, do they not?"_

_ His throat was tight all of a sudden. "Yes, my lady, we are passionate lovers of beauty," he managed._

_ She smiled sweetly at him. "I should not tease you so, sir. You are young and little used to the caprices of royalty. I will not tell your uncle that you gaped at me today as if I were a naked tavern wench giving you your first experience. He would be unhappy to hear that, I think. Don't you?"_

_ "I – I did not think a queen-" he spluttered. Here was someone who took reckless farther than he did. He wasn't sure he liked it. _

_ "I speak as I like, when I like. What do you think your uncle would say?"_

_ Kili knew very well what Thorin would say about staring at the breasts of a queen. But she was more than that."My uncle would not like that I gaped at you, my lady." Never one to shy away from the truth, Kili pressed on. "You are a queen, and a very desirable woman as well. Only when I am dead will I lose my appreciation for the beauty of a woman's body. Queens, tavern wench, any status in between."_

_ From the look on her face, Kili knew he had surprised her. The queen picked up her goblet and drank, keeping her eyes on his the entire time. Not for the first time today he wished he had the talent of reading minds._

_ "I hope you are not thinking of ways to torture me for my honesty, my lady."_

_ "No, no, I am considering your words. I find them rather charming." She sounded more serious to him as she continued. "I've worn the mantle of queen for almost my entire life. I sometimes forget I am both. That is something you also will face when you are a ruler. Balancing the needs of the kingdom against yourself as a man."_

_ "Then I hope I never am a ruler. It's likely the line will continue through Fili, not me. I don't care for being a prince, I would like being a king even less." _

_ "And what would you do, Prince Kili, if you could do anything you wished to do, without the trappings of titles?" she asked. _

_ "The forges. I would work the forge, creating works and designing new ways to melt and shape metals. Improving the forges themselves. Teaching young dwarves the process. It's what I love to do."_

_ "Do you do that well, metalworking?"_

_ "Yes. Gloin and Thorin were my teachers. Among many other things, I made this," he said, taking out his silver hair clasp and handing it to her. "And I made beads for Fili for his birthday, that he wears in his beard and mustache."_

_ Kili watched as Tauriel turned the clasp over in her hands, examining the detail of the engraved leaves and vines. He saw her long white fingers trace the carvings he had made so painstakingly. "This is very beautiful. I must admit it's even more lovely than elvish made clasps." She handed it back to him and Kili clipped his hair back up._

_ "There is something about you I'm rather curious about." _

_"And what is that, my lady?"_

_"I've been wondering why you do not have a large beard as do your fellows," she asked, changing the subject. "Is it wrong to comment on that?"_

_Kili smiled and laughed a little at that. "No, it's not wrong, but if it were I would forgive you. I'm a bit young still to have a beard. I'm only seventy-seven."_

_ "Ah, just a babe in the woods then. And when will you be old enough to grow one?"_

_ Kili rubbed his chin, feeling the scratch of the dark stubble that never seemed to grow any longer. "I'm not sure. I may not be able to grow one."_

_ "Oh? Why do you say that?" _

_ "Well, I'm taller than most dwarves. Skinnier too. My hair is not as thick. So perhaps this is all I can manage."_

_ The queen reached over to touch her fingertips lightly to his jaw. Kili could feel her slowly exploring the texture of his stubble. "I like it the way it is, sir. It gives you rather a rakish air. I should hate to see that lost under a pile of beard." She smiled as she spoke. "I imagine it is ticklish when it touches bare skin." She slid a finger down to his throat. _

_ She had not touched him before, and he found he liked it. Her fingers were soft yet firm on his skin. Mahal, she was making him feel tingling in places that probably should not tingle in public. He wanted to grab her hand and pull it away but was enjoying the feeling too much._

_ The sound of a crash drew his attention, and the queen's hand fell away from his throat. At the end of the table, Bombur had fallen off his chair onto the floor. The elves and dwarves around him shrieked with drunken laughter. _

_ The Queen stood and called for her maids. "I think it is time to help these fine gentlemen to bed. Please escort them to their chambers and then come back here to put this room to rights," she ordered briskly. _

_ Tauriel turned back to him. "May I escort you to your bed, Master Kili?"_

_ He wondered, if he let her walk him to his room, if she would come in. And want to stay. It certainly seemed possible. Was there any harm in it? Would Thorin kill him for bedding the queen? If it was her idea, would his uncle still care? He swallowed slowly. "Yes, my lady. But I would like to make sure these members of the company make it to their beds first."_

_ "Of course. I will assist you." She led the way out of the room, her servants helping the drunken dwarves walk steadily down the hall. Kili followed, hands in his pockets, nerves taking over his stomach. What was she going to do?_

_ They saw the four drunks – Bombur, Ori, Bifur, and Nori – safely inside their rooms. Kili wondered how much they'd had to drink. He hoped there were sturdy chamber pots in their rooms. Sometimes it was hard to know just how much wine or ale would make one sick. Hopefully he would not be woken by the sounds of vomiting in the night._

_ Tauriel stopped in front of the door to Kili's room, and opened it. As he thought, she followed him in and shut the door. _

_ "Is the room to your liking? Enough pillows and blankets?" she asked solicitously. _

_ "Yes, it was quite comfortable earlier. Thank you." He eyed her carefully. What did she have in mind?_

_She smiled slowly at him, seeming to read his mind."You need not fear that I am going to stay. If I had that in mind for tonight, you and your belongings would have already been moved to my own private suites." Kili felt relief wash through him. There were limits to being reckless, thank Mahal he had reached them. _

_Tauriel frowned at his lack of response. "Perhaps you are disappointed instead of fearful?"_

_ "My lady . . . " he paused. "I would be a thousand times a fool not to want to bed such a beautiful woman as yourself." His mouth felt dry just speaking the words that he could not deny._

_ "Even if Thorin would be displeased?" she asked, arching an eyebrow._

_ "Even so."_

_ She walked slowly around him, the same gleam in her eye from the dinner."I find you attractive and interesting. I confess I do want you in my bed. It could be quite an experience for us both." She touched his shoulder and traced a hand along his upper back. "But it would create problems in your company. Bedding the queen is not something anyone can keep secret in Mirkwood. You all must be successful in your quest, not at odds and distracted." She stopped her circling, facing him. She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips softly. "Pleasant dreams, Prince Kili." The queen turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her. _

_ Pleasant dreams, he thought as he readied himself for bed. They certainly would be._


	4. Adventures in Mirkwood

_* * * The following morning * * *_

_ The lovely gems of the queen were uncovered, bouncing before him as she rode him roughly. A light sheen of sweat glistened on her torso and face. He leaned forward to lick it from a swollen breast as she threw her head back and cried out his name. He gripped her hips tightly with his hands and thrust up into her, feeling her contract around his slippery erection. Her screams as she climaxed tipped him over the edge, making him moan wildly. He could feel his cock stretch her body, pulsing with his own intense orgasm. Panting, gasping, as he came inside her, he felt he had died and gone to heaven._

_ "Kili! We're heading to the hall for breakfast. Get up, you lump!" The shouts of his brother's voice outside the door woke him suddenly. He jerked awake and rubbed his eyes. And groaned softly as he noted the tightness in his crotch of what he might otherwise think of as an impressive morning erection. It was throbbing a little, almost painful. No tavern wench in the bed to help relieve the pressure. Thinking of Orcs would not do the trick this time, he was far too hard._

_ "I'll meet you down there," he yelled, as he slipped his hands into his sleep pants to stroke and massage himself. It didn't feel as good as thrusting into a fiery, soaking wet woman, or a steamy little mouth, but he couldn't go out in the hall like this. He came quickly, having been so close from the dream, streaming down his leg under the pants. He pulled the pants off and used them to wipe his cum from his leg. Digging in his pack for thicker trousers, he got dressed and left the guest room. _

_ There was one more day in Mirkwood. They were leaving tomorrow, an early breakfast having been planned already. Today they were seeing to repairs and mending and provisions. Swords and other equipment had been sent to the smithy for sharpening yesterday. The Queen had been quite generous in having her people work long hours in a short time to assist the dwarves. _

_ Kili walked quickly to the main hall where they had had dinner the night before. All the party was there, seated around the long table. Platters of fruits and cheeses and breads and pitchers of ale filled the table, along with some bowls of what looked like a gruel. _

_ His company did not look so well. Even those that had stopped drinking early to go on the palace tour looked ashen and exhausted. Kili was glad he had not drunk as much as he normally would. He hated feeling sick. And being hungover was a state he did not want to appear in before the queen._

_ And where was she? He did not see her in the hall. How had she spent the night? Dreaming of him thrusting inside her, moaning and then screaming with desire? Kili was not going to ask where she was, that would be too obvious. Sitting down by a sick looking Bofur, he put some cheese and bread on a plate. If he paid attention, he would likely find out where Tauriel was without showing he wanted to know._

_ "Where did you end up last night, lad?" Bofur asked, his voice creaking. "You didn't come with us on the palace tour."_

_ "I stayed here. Someone had to make sure those four didn't get sloppy drunk and break furniture like in Rivendell," Kili replied, gesturing down the table at the unlucky quartet. _

_ "He was flirtin' with the Queen, he was," Bombur managed from farther down the table. _

_ Kili was startled by the comment, but recovered quickly. "You are confused Bombur. You were so drunk last night you fell out of your chair! Three elves had to help you back to your room. Don't you remember?"_

_ The company at the table laughed loudly at this, ignoring Bombur's comment. Out of the corner of his eye, Kili could see Thorin give him an odd, appraising sort of look even as he laughed at Bombur. "I do not advise getting drunk tonight. We are leaving early tomorrow, and all must be ready," his uncle said briskly. _

_ "Good morning, gentlemen!" A tall elf with long brown hair, dressed in fine brown linen and leather boots, stepped into the room._

_ "Lord Naili, a fine morning to you," Thorin said jovially. Kili realized this was the counselor at the dinner last night that his uncle spent so much time talking to. _

_ "My Queen has other matters to attend to this morning and this afternoon, and has requested I help you today. She has suggested a tour of and opportunity to try the elvish forges. You will be able to see how your weapons are coming along." The elf looked at Kili and continued. "Prince Kili you are an archer, I believe? Our archery master and trainer has time for you, and others who are interested, this afternoon. And then an early dinner this evening, as you must be away very early tomorrow."_

_His uncle rose and bowed to the elf. "Thank you, my lord. Your Queen is very generous. We will be happy to see the forges and the archery."_

* * *

_* * * The archery field * * * _

_A late autumn sun shone down on the archery range. The archery master, an elf named Tirin, had set up various targets at different places throughout the open space. He was currently engrossed in examining Kili's bow and arrow. _

_ It was just the two of them. No one else had really been interested in archery, and Kili had not expected them to be. The rest of the company had been invited back to the forge area after lunch, to view elvish swordmaking. Thorin might have come with him to this range, but he and Naili had been engrossed in talk during lunch and had left together to meet with another counselor. _

_Kili was very glad not to have an audience. The rest of the dwarves didn't really appreciate the skill required for archery. He knew some would laugh if and when he missed the center. _

_ "It feels quite different from my own," Tirin said, letting an arrow fly. It hit slightly off center of the target. "Just different enough not to hit the bull's eye." He handed the bow back to Kili. "Let's see how you do, then."_

_ Kili faced another target, firing the arrow. He was a good shot, for a dwarf, but not compared to an elf. The arrow found a mark outside the center, just a little farther outside where Tirin's arrow had landed. Kili grimaced a little and turned to Tirin. "Archery is not something most dwarves learn. I had only two teachers, and learned all they could teach me." _

_ Tirin clapped him on the back and smiled. "You are well skilled, nothing to be ashamed of! Once Erebor is reclaimed and the kingdom is functioning, you can come back for a long visit and I will teach you elvish archery. You'll even have your own Elvish bow and arrow, the request came down from the Queen this morning to make one for you. It won't be ready before tomorrow, however."_

_ "That is very kind of her." Kili was surprised, and pleased to hear that. He had not realized Queen Tauriel had known he was an archer. It was not something they had talked about yesterday._

_ "Yes." Tirin walked down to the targets to get the arrows, and Kili followed them. "I've been making bows and arrows, and daggers, and teaching elves to throw and shoot, for three thousand years. Many, many elves have learned from me, but the best student in all my years is my Queen Tauriel."_

_ "Really? I didn't know she was an archer, or that she was so talented."_

_ "She is second only to me in this kingdom. Archery is in her blood, her father was a superb archer, and a student of mine as well. He did not live to see his daughter become queen, or to see her best him at shooting." Having collected the arrows, they walked back to the shooting area._

_ Kili was confused. He knew elves had immortality, and they rarely got sick. The king must have been killed. "What happened to him?" he asked carefully. _

_ "He and his queen, and their traveling party, were slaughtered by Orcs, not far from here. We heard the cries, we'd gotten notice that the party was almost home and were on the watch. But we were too late to save any of them."_

_ Kili did not respond, he sensed that Tirin was in the middle of his memory. The elf went on, seeing a day in the past. "We killed the remaining Orcs, and brought the bodies of our dead home. The Orcs had been unusually brutal, and it was . . . horrible. Someone told the princess her parents were dead, and her screams, everyone in the palace heard them." He paused, and Kili saw him bow his head. "She was young then, not a child, but not quite an adult, either. I remember her coming to the room where the king and queen lay, ordering everyone to leave. She was so fierce. And then she sat alone with them for hours that day. I don't know what she did in there, but when she left them, Princess Tauriel had become Queen in spirit. You could see it in her eyes."_

_ He tried to imagine such a thing for himself, and found he couldn't bear to think on it. Kili thought of the desirable Queen he'd flirted with last night as a young girl, almost a woman, being orphaned in such a brutal way. His heart filled with sorrow. "How awful for her, for all of you. I'm so sorry," Kili said softly._

_ Tirin wiped his wet eyes, and nodded. "It was a terrible day. But the day after, the Queen came to me and wanted to shoot. She had been an inconsistent learner before. Didn't like to practice. But two hours a day, almost every single day, for the past five hundred years she's trained. That day gave her the heart to learn." _

_ "Will she come down while we're here?"_

_ "No, sir, she came down for an hour this morning. Now she is training with our targets in the forest." Tirin handed Kili the elven bow. "Give this a try." Kili aimed, and fired. The arrow hit the target, but well away from center. Disappointed, he slumped and shook his head at his lousy performance. _

_ Tirin laughed a little at the dejected look on his face."Come back when your quest is over, sir, and I will teach you everything I know. You will hit dead center with your own bow and the elvish one, every time, in every condition. This I promise you."_

* * *

_ * * * Second Night in Mirkwood * * * _

_The dinner was early, quite a bit earlier than the night before. Flagons of beer and ale, platters of breads and tureens of a thick, savory stew were set around the table. Small berry tarts had been placed at all their plates. Kili sat at the long table with the rest of the company and some elves, eating and drinking the delicious food, observing and listening to conversations. _

_ "How did the archery go?" Fili, who was sitting next to him, asked him._

_ "It was fine, I guess. I tried the archery master's elven bow. It feels quite a bit different from a dwarf bow."_

_ "Oh? How so?" Kili was a little surprised, as Fili had not ever been all that interested in archery._

_ "The grip is different, so is the length and the weight. It will take some getting used to."_

_ "Master Tirin will make you a superb bow. His workmanship is excellent," said an elf across the table from Kili._

_ Fili looked at him in surprise. "You're getting your own elven bow and arrow?"_

_ "The Queen requested it this morning of Master Tirin," the elf answered. "But it will not be ready to take along tomorrow. Creating such a weapon takes time and much care."_

_ Kili felt annoyed at being talked around. He looked down the table and caught Thorin's eye. From the look he gave him, Kili could tell his uncle had heard the comment about the bow and was surprised too._

_ "Why is she giving you something like that? A present?" Fili sounded a little put out. _

_ "Apparently she is a great archer. Maybe she wants to help me improve," Kili shrugged, hoping the conversation would turn to another topic._

_ "Good evening, gentlemen." The Queen entered the room, three ladies in waiting trailing behind her. She was dressed in silver tonight, the color of the glowing moon. Kili saw she had a small choker of red gems around her throat. Rubies, perhaps? They were very bright against her white skin._

_ Blood bright. The story from earlier this afternoon entered his thoughts suddenly. When he looked at the Queen, he imagined a shocked and grieving young woman, hearing the news, screams echoing through the vast palace. Her innocent eyes looking down on the poor dead bodies of her parents, hewn and hacked by Orc blades. Sitting alone with them. Had she talked to them? Kissed their dead lips, closed their eyes so they could rest in peace? Kili could not look at her now without seeing the image of a hurting young girl in his mind._

_ "My lady, thank you for opening your forges to us. None of us has been near a forge in many months, it was wonderful to work on them, if only for a few hours," Thorin said as he stood and bowed to her._

_ "You are most welcome. Are you pleased with the repairs to your weapons?" she asked kindly as she walked around the table. _

_ "Yes indeed. They are all ready and packed for tomorrow."_

_ The Queen took a seat next to his uncle and gestured for a glass and plate. "And the archery? A new experience with an elven bow," she commented, looking down the table at Kili._

_ "I enjoyed my hours with Master Tirin, my lady. Thank you," Kili said, smiling at her._

_ "I heard you are having a bow made for Kili. That is most generous," Thorin said. Kili kept his eyes on the two of them, wondering what the Queen would say in response. _

_ "A small gift to encourage goodwill between us, sir. Elves are the finest archers in Middle Earth. There is much we can teach dwarves, and men. If they wish," she replied, giving Kili a slight smirk. He was reminded of the flirting and conversation of the prior evening. _

_He did not return her look. Kili didn't feel flirtatious tonight. Not with that terrible story in his mind. His chest felt a little tight. What he needed right now was some air, not a suggestive smile. Kili nodded politely to the Queen as he got to his feet and left the table. "Is there a balcony or terrace nearby that I could step out on for a few moments?" he asked a serving maid. _

_ "Yes, sir, right over here." She led him just outside the dining room to a curtained doorway and pulled the drapery aside. _

_ It was a small balcony overlooking the woods. A large moon filled the sky, its light making the leaves on the trees glow. Stars sparkled against the black night. He sat on a stone bench, breathing slowly in and out, willing his overactive imagination to slow._

_Kili thought of his own mother, back in the Blue Mountains. Both sons on this quest which, so far, they had all been lucky to survive. He took the obsidian rune stone she'd given him out of his pocket and examined it again, tracing the etchings with a finger. The dwarvish runes spelled 'love.' Love of his mother for her sons, and their devotion and love for her. She'd meant to remind her son of their family bond, and hoped it would help him keep himself out of trouble. _

_If he'd gotten the news as a young dwarf that she'd been slaughtered – loving, patient, devoted Dis, who also whacked his backside times too numerous to count, and scorched him with her words and yelling when he needed it. She had always been there for him and Fili. They would be broken without her. No, he had to stop thinking of this. It was too much, would give him nightmares later if he let it. _

_ "May I join you?"a soft voice asked. Queen Tauriel had come in search of him._

_ "Yes. I do not wish to be alone with my thoughts anymore today."_

_ "What! Are they really so terrible, Master Kili?" Her tone was a little teasing._

_ Kili looked at her soberly. "I heard a terrible and sad story today, my lady. About a beautiful young princess, whose parents were brutally killed by orcs. I have had a hard time not thinking about it since I heard the tale. I cannot imagine the pain she must have felt."_

_ "Tauriel's eyes widened as he spoke. He watched as the smile disappeared from her face. Her lips pressed into a flat line. "I see." Her voice betrayed no emotion as she walked to the balcony rail and stood, looking at the sky._

_ "I'm very sorry, my lady."_

_ For several minutes, she said nothing, but just stared up at the sky. Kili watched her standing there, quiet himself, out of respect for her pain. He felt an urge to take her hand, or touch her in some gentle way. Something to offer a little comfort. Uncertain of how he would be received, he held himself back. _

_Finally, she broke the silence."It was a terrible, terrible day. Never before and never since have I felt such pain." She paused, still facing away from him. Kili could hear the emotion in her voice. "I loved my mother and adored my father. After they died, I trained hard and long and became an even better fighter than my father. My mother was a firm and kind ruler, and I promised her I'd be as good a queen as she."_

_ Kili now had an idea what she'd done and said, alone with their bodies, those centuries ago. She'd promised them her best self. "I'm sure they would be very proud of the person you are, my lady," he said kindly. He stood and walked to stand beside her. Gently, he took her hand in his, and softly caressed her knuckles. He felt her hand tense in his. _

_Tauriel turned to him, a look of surprise and discomfort on her face. "What do you want from me, Kili?" she asked softly._

_"Right now?" He paused for a moment. It was really very simple. "To give the girl you were a little comfort, nothing more. Will you accept it?"_

_They looked at each other for a long moment, speaking no words. Kili could see a little confusion in her eyes. Then Tauriel turned back to look at the sky. Kili felt her hand slowly relax, her fingers moving to twine with his. "When my parents were alive, and I was bored at formal dinners, I would sneak out here and watch the night sky. It has always fascinated me."_

_"I always thought the light of stars and moon cold. Remote and far away," Kili said softly. _

_She squeezed his hand tightly in response. "It is memory! A precious thing. When I look at these stars, I feel my parents, and know that I am not alone."_

_"But you are not alone, my lady." He was confused. _

_"There is more than one kind of aloneness, Kili. One can be alone, even when surrounded by others." Suddenly she moved away from him, pulled her hand out of his grasp. "I have said too much." She curtseyed to him. "I must go. Pleasant dreams, Kili." _

_Kili grabbed her hand as she turned to leave, pulling her back with his strong grip. As she looked at him, stunned, he lifted her hand to his lips to press a kiss on the palm. "Thank you," he said softly._

_"For what?"_

_"For sharing a memory with me. For accepting what you could of comfort."_

_There was a shuffling noise outside, that broke the moment between them. Thorin appeared, pulling the curtain aside. "Kili! There you are. We're heading to our rooms now."_

_ Kili dropped the Queen's hand, wondering what his uncle had overheard. "Coming, Uncle." "Good evening, my lady." Kili and Thorin bowed to the Queen. The stunned look was gone, replaced by one of polite concern. She nodded to them as they left the room. _

_ "What were you doing back there, Kili?" Thorin hissed as they walked down the hall to their guest rooms._

_ "Talking, Uncle. Just talking."_

_ They had reached Kili's door. Thorin gripped his shoulder tightly, and gave Kili a sharp look. "That had better be all it is, Kili. The quest comes first."_

* * *

_* * * Goodbyes * * * _

_"Well, gentlemen. I bid you luck on the rest of your journey. I know you will be successful." _

_ The Queen stood outside the gates of the palace in the faint light of sunrise. The company stood around her, thirteen dwarves and one hobbit, bellies filled from breakfast. They were packed and ready for the trip out of Mirkwood. _

_ "Thank you, my lady, you have been most generous. I look forward to returning the generosity when we have reclaimed Erebor." Thorin bowed low to her, as did the rest of the company. _

_The sound of horses came from behind them. Elven guards on tall horses, and some leading ponies. "My guard will escort you safely to the borders of Laketown. Then the ponies will carry you the rest of the way. Good fortune take you to Erebor." She bowed to them._

_ Kili was glad of the pony. He loaded his goods on to the sides and climbed up, waiting for the rest of the party to be ready to ride. _

_ He chanced a glance at the queen. Her red hair glowed like fire in the rising sun. She wore no gems or dress, but a fine brown leather tunic, split skirt, and boots. She was moving among the horses, saying goodbye to the dwarves._

_ Sitting in the saddle, he towered over her. Sharp green eyes looked up to his. "I hope you enjoyed your stay here, short though it was. I wish you a safe and successful journey, Prince Kili."_

_ "I did enjoy my time here, very much, my lady. I hope I will be welcomed back in the future."_

_ "Yes, indeed. I will make sure there is a bed for you." She smiled at him, a look full of promise. Then she bowed and moved on to say her goodbyes to the rest of the company._

_ Kili sighed in the cool morning air. The Queen was a woman of layers and complexities. Flirtatious, serious, kind, daring. Afraid to be vulnerable, perhaps? All he knew was that, in just two short days, he had been pulled in and didn't want to leave. Kili wanted to know everything about her, to take her apart and savor each and every piece of her. He was going to do everything in his power to stay alive, in order to return to Mirkwood._


	5. Confessions

**Author's note: All prior chapters have been updated. Minor changes to 1, 2, and 3, larger changes to 4. You may wish to re-read! Thank you for your reviews and faves and follows!**

* * *

* * * The present day * * *

Thorin sat in his study, reviewing notes for the meetings he expected they would have in Mirkwood. The were expected at the palace in two weeks, and would leave Erebor in a few days, spending one night in Dale with King Bard before setting out on the journey.

He'd had a meeting with Fili and Kili and Balin a couple days ago, about the state visit. They'd discussed various topics that might be brought up in Mirkwood, and what Erebor's position should be in negotiations, the possible opinions of Mirkwood and Dale. The four of them had been in agreement that it was unlikely there would be problems with the other kingdoms. All the rulers and the people were very desirous of peace and prosperity, after war and destruction. When one kingdom was prosperous, so were the others.

They had discussed one idea that Thorin had long pondered, and finally had come to accept. An intra-kingdom combined army of elves, dwarves, and men. Something that had only been done during wartime. Now there would be a coalition in peacetime. How to set it up, skills and training, selecting leaders, dealing with those areas would be the difficulty.

Dwarves and elves and men were good with swords, but warriors needed more than just skill with one weapon. He was not an archer, that was Kili's area. Thorin had never been interested in learning, and most dwarves felt the same way. Queen Tauriel had proposed the idea in a letter many months ago. Thorin had to admit her reasoning was good – it was quite beneficial, at times, to be able to kill your enemies, or your dinner, from afar. Selling the idea of bows and arrows to his people would be challenging. They would have to feel that there was something about soldiering and weaponry that they could teach the elves, that they knew something other races did not.

During the meeting, at the mention of the Queen, Thorin had looked as closely as he could at Kili's reaction. He hoped neither of his nephews had noticed his interest. But Kili had looked as he normally did, thinking through the ideas, discussing the finer points. There had been nothing in his face or bearing to indicate any feeling about her other than respect due the ruler of a neighboring kingdom. Thorin had started to think a romantic connection between his nephew and the Queen was something he himself had imagined.

At dinner that night, however, he received all the proof he needed that he was right after all.

* * *

* * * The prior evening * * *

"I saw the forge master earlier today," Fili said, looking at Kili across the table. He forked up a piece of ham. "He said to tell you your choker is set, and that he needs the bauble soon if it's to be ready next week."

It was just the three of them at dinner, Thorin, and his nephews. Their mother was back in the Blue Mountains for a long visit.

Tonight the kitchen had served up a succulent roast pig, potatoes, roast carrots, and crusty bread with butter and honey. Delicious cherry tart, Thorin's favorite, for dessert. A flagon of ale and one of wine sat on the table. Simple fare, but welcome. Thorin remembered their journey here, when they were extremely lucky to get a meal like this.

"What choker is this?" Thorin asked, looking at Kili.

"Just something I'm working on." Kili drank from his goblet but did not quite meet his uncle's eye.

"Why does it need to be ready next week?" Fili asked.

Kili shrugged. To Thorin it looked a little studied. "I've got other things to work on and I want to get it done."

A frown appeared on Fili's face. "Who are you making it for? The master said it was a ladies' choker."

In the candlelight filling the room, it was hard to tell, but Thorin thought he could see a slight flush on Kili's face. "I liked the mold, and thought I'd try it out," Kili said, meeting Fili's gaze.

"Have you tried out the elven bow Queen Tauriel sent you?" Thorin asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, I've been out a little every day with it."

"And how do you fare?" Thorin pressed.

Kili sighed a little. "It feels much different than my bow. I don't know what the wood is, but it is light and very strong. I'm well out of range of the center, but am hitting the target."

"I expect you'll have time to work with their archery master again when we are there," Thorin said.

"I'm heading up to my suite now, uncle. Good night." Fili got up and left the room.

Kili stood, and started to walk to the door to follow his brother. "Kili, wait a moment."

His nephew turned to look at him. "What is it?"

Thorin gazed steadily at Kili. "That choker. It's for Queen Tauriel." It was not a question.

Kili spluttered a little, then was silent. "Yes," he said finally.

"Were you going to tell me you were making something for her?"

He was answered with silence. "Kili, you need to tell me what is going on here." Thorin tried to keep his tone from being demanding, but he was not sure he was successful. "Let me help you," he said kindly, seeing Kili's eyes close and a look of pain flash across his face.

"You can't help me, Uncle," he whispered.

A hot flush of fear and realization rushed through the king. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" When Kili said nothing, Thorin got up and put an arm around his shoulders. "Come. Sit, lad. Tell me." He gently sat his nephew in a chair and got him a goblet of ale.

"Yes, the choker is for her, and yes, I'm in love with her, though I wish I wasn't." The words came out in a rush. "I think I was a little in love with her when we were in Mirkwood. The night on the balcony . . . " Kili paused. Thorin did not interrupt him, just sat back and let him talk. "We had a moment. More than one. There was something there."

Ah, so he was right after all, Thorin thought to himself. He watched his nephew gulp and swallow some of the ale. Putting a hand on Kili's shoulder, he squeezed gently in encouragement and support. "Do you think she felt something then?"

"Yes. The look on her face . . . I think she was scared by what she told me. About her parents death, how it made her feel alone. She said she shared too much." Kili wiped a lone tear from his eye. "Then what happened in her tent during the battle, when she healed me."

"You didn't tell me she healed you, just that elves healed you."

"I wanted that to be private, Uncle." Kili looked at him intensely. "You don't need to know it all," he said angrily.

Thorin closed his eyes and prayed for patience. "You didn't . . . in her tent . . . " he trailed off.

"No! I was hurt, too hurt for that. No!" Kili rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. "I admit it! I've wanted to bed her from the day I met her! We kissed, I shared her pallet for a few hours, I think. I don't remember all of it, I was in a lot of pain. Or maybe I do, and it's just in my dreams." He put his head down on the table and groaned. "I wish I could get her out of my head, but I can't."

"Kili." Thorin patted his shoulder. "What do you want from her?" he asked softly.

His nephew turned his head to look at him. The look on his face was pure misery. "I want her to love me back, Uncle. I want her to care about my heart like I love hers. But all she seems to want from me is sex." He laughed, and it was a somewhat bitter sound. "A new experience. That's what she calls it. I've never been with an elf, and she's never fucked a dwarf. So it's a new experience."

"Boy, don't use that kind of language when you talk about a lady," Thorin growled.

Kili got to his feet in anger. "Fine, Uncle," he hissed. He paced around the room. "When I write to her, I've told her about how I feel about her, about despair and the pain of losing our friends in battle. But her replies, they don't even acknowledge any of that! Is it all a joke to her?"

"What does your gut tell you, Kili?"

Kili blinked at him. He stopped pacing for a moment. "That there's some feeling on her side, too. Something she's afraid of," he said slowly.

Thorin nodded. He was not surprised. He knew of the tragedy of the Queen's parents's deaths. When he was young, before Smaug, there had been some talk among his father and grandfather about Queen Tauriel, her various lovers, but no accepted suitors, of any race, from any realm. Unlike the dwarves, the elves married for love. Political alliance and bloodlines were not of high concern. So perhaps she was afraid, to be hurt badly again. Love opened you up to pain of the deepest kind.

But that was life. Pain and sorrow. And happiness as well. Hurts could not be avoided, unless one wanted to live like a hermit all his life. Kili was in love and hurting with it. He might get what he wanted, or he might not. Thorin could not help ease the pain.

"What is the bauble Fili was talking about?"

"For her eyes." Kili took a stone out of his pocket and placed it on the table in front of Thorin. An emerald. He had carved it into the shape of a leaf, smoothing it and shaping it until it was more flat. The green gem sparkled in the light of the candles lighting the room. It was truly beautiful. "How long have you been working on this?" Thorin breathed.

"The gem I found a few months ago. I've been shaping it for a long time. It's almost ready."

Thorin picked it up and let the room fill with a green glow. "It is beautiful. And you are pairing it with gold. That will be a masterpiece of perfection."

"Thank you, Uncle."

"Make your jewelry for her. You know how to make it just right. But in the end, all you can do is show her you love her, and believe that will crack the fear in her heart." Thorin gripped Kili's hand tightly. "Know that you are what will break through. Not any jewels, no matter how wonderful they are. You."

"And if I can't get through to her, then there's nothing for me. I can't be her lover just for sex. I just can't." Kili's voice trembled with tears. "It's all of me, or none of me."

"Listen to your instincts, Kili. They usually do not steer you wrong, if you follow them. You know what you saw in her face in the moments you two had. Let that guide your steps. Come," Thorin said, putting an arm around his nephew. "It's getting late, and you need to rest. Wooing a fearful woman will take every ounce of energy you possess, and then some."


	6. Memories

He released the arrow, letting it fly toward the target. It made a sort of whistling sound as it moved through the air, hitting the wooden target with a loud thunk. Kili sighed in disappointment. The arrow was off center, several inches off center.

Pulling another arrow from the elven quiver on his back, he shot his new bow again. Imagining that, this time, the center was the eye of one of the grotesque orcs or goblins that had been slaughtered in battle, the second arrow was a little closer to the center than the first. Not by much, but he would take the improvement, however slight it was.

It was a bright day, cold and brisk, where he was outside the mountain. There was an archery area inside, but today Kili wanted the outdoors, the sunlight and air. Space and freedom. No one would bother him here. He wanted to be alone for a little while.

He walked to the target to collect his arrows. They would have to be packed carefully tonight, as he and Kili and Thorin and Balin were leaving tomorrow afternoon for Dale. Bard would host them overnight. The following day the five of them would leave for Mirkwood.

Kili was nervous and excited, now that the trip was finally here. He was looking forward to working with Master Tirin again, the kindly elven archery expert. Could they work together a little every day, perhaps? He hoped so. If not, Kili would do what he could to get down to the archery field and at least practice each day. How much could one improve in two weeks? Kili was hoping there could some significant gain, something that would stay with him when he returned to Erebor. He wanted to be as proficient as possible with both types of bows.

He wondered what the Queen was doing right now. The idea of seeing her, being in her palace with her for two entire weeks, made him a little nervous, but less so than before. He'd been thinking on what his uncle had said a few nights ago. Listen to your instincts. You know what you saw in her face. Let that guide you.

So he had. The choker was completed, golden and glowing and gloriously lovely. It was packed already, nestled in golden box lined with emerald velvet. Kili had not decided when he would give it to Tauriel. He might not present her with the choker at all. He would have to see how things transpired.

Kili had been thinking back more in the past few days. Remembering details of their other meetings. How she had looked at him, what she had done and said. Setting up another shot, Kili put his mind's eye on the battlefield. The night before the battle, when the heads of state and their generals had converged in Thorin's tent to discuss strategy. She had been powerful and stunning, in the green armor covering her chest and torso, a sword at her side, the leather of her green split skirt fluttering around her calves.

He let his arrow fly. To his amazement, it sought its home on the target, much closer to the center than before. Keeping that picture of Tauriel as a shining warrior in his mind, Kili pulled another arrow from the quiver and let it go. Again, much closer to the center. Interesting. Did he need to focus on her to shoot the elven bow so accurately?

She had argued with his uncle that night, he remembered as he went to collect the arrows. "You cannot fight, my lady!" Thorin had said, incredulously. "Of course I can, I have been trained to do so," the Queen had retorted sharply. "I will not ask my people to do what I am unwilling to do." Kili had been glad not to be the one Tauriel glared at so fiercely. Thorin had wisely changed the subject, and that had been that.

Firing off another arrow, Kili recalled another moment. After the meeting in his uncle's tent, he'd left, wanting to see the Queen privately. He'd followed her to her own tent, some distance from Thorin's. A lady in waiting had announced him.

* * *

_* * * * The Queen's tent, the night before the battle * * * * _

_Kili stood just inside the entrance to the tent. The fire crackled loudly, warming the space. He noted the wide sleeping pallet piled high with blankets, and an old metal helmet on a table with other weapons. He wondered if the helmet had been her father's. There was a long, low box filled with herbs and glass bottles and bandages near it. For the wounded. Did she have healing skills as well? He did not know._

_ "My lady, may I speak with you for a moment?" His voice was tentative. This was not the flirty queen of just a few days ago. She was looking at him, and her gaze and demeanor were sharp and flinty. _

_ "What is it, Prince Kili?" She sounded tired and out of sorts._

_ "A private word?" _

_ He saw a look of surprise on her face at this request. "You may leave us, Sivanna," she said to her maid, who curtseyed and left them. He noticed the woman giving the queen an odd look before she exited the tent. He wondered if Tauriel had told her anything about him._

_ Kili cleared his throat, feeling nervous. "I know you will fight tomorrow. I am not here to try to talk you out of it." He walked to her and took both her hands in his. He heard her gasp softly as he turned the palms up to kiss them. "Be safe, my lady." Kili looked up to see confusion on her face. "I don't want anything to happen to you," he said softly. "That is all I wanted to say." _

_ He gently let her hands down, and bowed to her. She hadn't said anything, hadn't even moved. Tauriel was still looking at him strangely. _

_ He decided to make his exit, he had done what he felt he needed to do. Kili headed toward the tent entrance. _

_ "Wait," she said softly. He turned and took a few steps back toward her. _

_ Tauriel stood there for a long moment. To Kili she looked uncertain, as if she was debating something with herself. Then she went to the table where her weapons were and picked up a small item._

_ "I want you to take this," she said slowly, holding something out to him. His fingers brushed hers as he took hold of it. It was a green stone, etched with Elvish runes. "What does it say?" he asked as he examined it closely. _

_ "It was my father's. He always took it with him in battles or skirmishes. It says 'protect'." She paused, her voice cracking just a little. Kili looked up from the stone and saw there were tears in her eyes. "He said it protected him, as he was fighting to protect his family and people. So take it, and let it keep you safe in battle."_

_ He gaped at her, speechless. Amazed that she would give him something so personal, something from her dead, beloved father. "My lady! I cannot take this!You need this yourself." Kili couldn't help his voice from shaking a little. The gesture shocked and touched him deeply. _

_ Tauriel shook her head. She closed his hands around the rune stone and held them tightly in hers. "No. I want you to keep it with you, until the battle is over. Please."_

_ He looked into her eyes, glowing emerald green and wet. For an instant, he thought he saw the promise of love and care in them. Kili felt a strong urge to pull her to him and kiss her. But then she looked away from him, letting his hands go. He wondered if, as in Mirkwood, she felt she had shared too much. _

_ Kili adopted a formal manner his uncle would have been proud of. He bowed his head to the queen. "I am honored you would lend me something so precious. I will do as my lady desires."_

_ The voice of her lady-in-waiting suddenly announced that Lord Naili was waiting. "Good night, Tauriel," Kili whispered as he stepped out of her tent and into the starry night. _

_ Walking to the tent he was set to share with his brother, he slipped the stone into a pocket. Kili was still stunned by her action. He was right. There had been something in her look. She cared for him. Tauriel would not have given him the stone otherwise._

_ The night was cold, with a wind whipping the flags and tent flaps in all directions. He did not feel any of the bite of early winter, though. Kili's heart had been warmed thoroughly by the promise of something sweet and tender._

* * *

_* _* * * The present moment * * * *

Thorin was right, Kili thought. You know what you saw. He did know the truth about how Tauriel felt. It was all right there in his memory. Something in her eyes.

His stomach growled, jerking him out of his thoughts. It was time for a break. Kili went to the bag he had brought with him, and took out slices of bread and ham. Eating, he thought back on the time he was wounded on the battlefield, a little before it was all over.

He remembered the pain from the Orc arrow in his thigh. It had burned hot and strong as the poison had moved into his blood. He knew someone had taken him to the nearest tent, which had been the Queen's. She'd healed him. Kissed him. Lain with him under the blankets, to keep him warm, so she had said. But there were other details that were fuzzy to him, blocked out by the fever and pain.

Kili had dreamed about his injury and her tent many times. He was not sure if, in his dreams, he was remembering things that had actually happened. Or was he was seeing what he'd wished to happen, but had not?

The best place to begin was at the beginning, with what he knew for sure.


End file.
